Why men are not just looking for a pretty girl…
They say that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. This holds some, but little truth. The reality is that most people will agree on who they physically find appealing, based on looks alone. However the part that differs is the way in which others connect with you.
Let’s explore this further: As there are many different types of connections. Just as there are many types of ways that a person can resonate with you.
There is mental connection, physical connection and then there are spiritual connections.
Mental connection: Is when a person matches your level of intelligence. Allowing for the thoughts, ideas and conversation to flow easily amongst the two of you.
Physical connection: Is when a person desires the other and finds that their physical needs are met by that person. This does not just mean sex! This is also when a person provides a sense of comfort, in the form of a reliable and stable home environment. (Sex, Food, Shelter)
Spiritual connection: This is when a person resonates with you on a deeper level. You have to be in tune with yourself and others in order to pick up on this. Let’s explore this further because this is the toughest one to identify and understand.
Not everyone that you meet will not resonate with you. There may be some people who you find kind, attractive, hard working, funny, etc. You may like these attributes that they hold but outside of those qualities, they don’t bring you a sense of feeling as if your home.
There are people… and then there are people who are a part of your tribe. Those are spiritual connections. (For more information about this please join my blog as I will be posting weekly about this topic and various others)
Status and Suitors: It is that physical connection that resonates with most people. The ability to feel that they have found a safe, stable and reliable partner. This partner does not have to be beautiful or handsome. This partner does not have to match your mentality, they simply have to be able to provide a means of survival.
When I published my first book and started my business in ghost writing, I was not surprised at the many thousands of men who found my page and attempted to “shoot their shot”. It was over a thousand friend requests a day and I recall spending hours deleting the requests from men who had not just seen a photo of a pretty girl but clicked on my page and learned about me having several degrees and a business that I was running.
I only knew this because many of them would message pretending to want to write a book. Expressing that they needed me as their ghost writer. I would began asking questions about their projects, only to find that they were not interested in writing or becoming an author of a book at all.
Most of the messages, after a few minutes into conversation, would say something like “I would like to meet you in person to discuss this further”… Is that right, good sir? I thought, before declining the offer and reinforcing that I was only online to entertain my business.
There were also the more persistent ones. A few who would pay me $100 for an hour of information which they wanted in their book. I would type up the information and send it back to them. They would harp about how talented my writing was and how much they liked it… before asking me on a date.
Tisk Tisk… Some people learn the hard way. Again reiterating my lack of desire to be courted and wanting to simply provide a service. Well, needless to say! Those men did not return to attempt to write a book and I’m guessing were not serious about wanting to write in the first place.
I was baffled at how far some men would go to catch a woman that they felt had stator. A woman that they prized as valuable. I can tell you that there was a time that I was just a pretty face on social media. I did not list my degree’s. I did not list my business nor my accomplishments.
My friend requests did not exceed the thousands daily, and the men who were in my inbox were few and they usually were blunt jerks that boasted penis pics and bad vocabulary.
The finer pedigree of men came out when my accomplishments were displayed. The fact of stability and what I could bring to the table became the forefront and physical beauty became like an accessory. It was nice to have, but not necessary.
Men who own businesses, who have brands, who have bands and racks on racks on racks (sorry that is my more ratchet side). There were men who own properties and who are looking for a partner who can match their stamina and drive!
I realized that this!! This stability and means of support… means of survival trumped physical beauty. This goes for men and women. It is survival mode.
The difference between Beta fish and sharks (go getter type of men) that you attract, could largely be due to the type of woman that they assume you to be.
If they feel that being with you will be like a weight being lifted, they are most likely to stay. If they feel like weight is being added to their load… They are most likely to flee.
Beauty holds a man eyes, but not his attention!
There has to be more… Sometimes… Much more. Depending on the man.
Be his peace, be his support and his friend. Then as a bonus, sprinkle some beauty on top!